The Day My First Love Ended

HEEEEEEEEEE

Yesh!! I wrapped up my first (one-sided) love of eh...3 years?

Seeing him after so long....
I surprisingly felt nothing XD
Except for some feeling of familiarity and fondness
That's amazingly ALL

I expected something more dramatic from myself...
Yeah...I expected to come home in tears knowing that he's got someone now
LOL..so dramatic

Well, the someone he has is like this ah-ma-zing girl~~
She looks intelligent and thoughtful too ^^
Pretty tooooooo....

Oh dear...I sound like I like her more than him

OOPPPSSS :D

After watching the movie today,
it kind of woke me up from my fantasy of what's happening in my relationship now
The guy 'Victor' seemed very much like me...busy doing things that make myself happy
The girl 'Sophie' is so much like my 'him'...
He's always putting 1000% into this relationship
But I don't seem to bother much
I do what I want...when I want
I constantly hurt his feelings these days...
It doesn't feel right anymore

I get pissed off at those little things he does
I get angry and frustrated when he's not there when I want him to be
I ignore him when he's here
I try my best to sympathize with his daily grudgings..but I always fall short
There's always others who can help him more than me
Because I always think that if we can't help ourselves..who's going to help us?
I've never taken people's help for granted so I seldom ask for it..
Unless..I'm despo or we're really close

I don't think it's fair for him
For him to have someone as nonchalant as me...
Either I hate to be tied down
or I'm not used to this lovey-dovey stuff

But saying goodbye as early as now...
wouldn't be right either...
would it??

U.R.G.H.

URGH

You're MIA again as always....

I'm so pissed off that I don't even want to see your contact number flashing on my phone

Some people might comment that I'm fussy over these unimportant details
But these little details are the ones I cherish..
Maybe you don't..but I Do
It makes me feel the least bit important

I keep having these nagging thoughts about some people you claim you're just friends with
When I ask you...you keep trying to assure me that it's just a friend-friend relationship
"I'm close with her because I knew her for a very long time"

Personally...I think it's BULLSHIT
and I let it show...

You keep asking me about those guys on my FaceBook
I say that they're my classmates...and you don't believe me
Shouldn't I be doing the same with you??
Hmm??

Now...I just avoid from looking at your profile and whatever posts you do
What you don't know won't kill you right?
I never knew the L word is so....so....easy to utter for you
For anyone?????

SORRY...saying ILY to any Tom, Dick or Harry is SO NOT MY STYLE OK?
I'll say it only when I mean it
Plus..I'm going to say it when I want to...not when I need to
SO STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT IT!!!!

P/S I'm NOT one of those girls who shows pouty faces & sulk when they don't get what they want and act all cutesy-mutesy or whatever crap those bimbos do.. I AM NORMAL and I want to STAY NORMAL...

I'm not going to be all besotted with the likes of you...
I won't be that girl who slit her wrists because of a lame argument...

Those to me...is a show of weakness
Either that or...they're really in dire need of PROPER attention
These people seriously need counselling or theraphy
YES THEY DO



So far in my life...there was only 1 person I felt connected to
and sadly or maybe fortunately..we've gone our separate ways...

He knows and I know...wrong timing...